On a day you
made…
#thinking so
hard
Dear God,
I need not
introduce myself, for you know me so well you can count the strands of hair on
my big African head.
Usually you
and I have this conversation “mano-a-mano”, in the nights and in the mornings. Today,
I have decided that we need a hard copy of one of our numerous conversations,
although this one promises to be one-sided since you have decided not to write
in my books and yet, you decided centuries ago to gift the old King Belshazzar
with the writings on the wall. Surely, it’d be easier writing on paper instead
of hard cemented walls.
I am
thinking hard, God. There are so many things that send my mind reeling. So
many.
Sometimes I
get so so confused. You know I’ve been battling with faith and reality for a
while. It takes faith to believe in you, they say. I believe in you, so I have
faith in you.
But you know
I have been asking you to do something special for my family for the past five
years. And it’s a really good thing, it will make everyone happy. But you
haven’t done it. It’s been five years. I’m human. My level of faith then has
diminished to the barest minimum. You
said we should ask then we will receive. I asked. I didn’t receive.
God, I am
telling you what I think. Please do not take offense. I think we waste our
faith in some situations. If you wouldn’t do something for us, please let us
know so we wouldn’t continue hoping-for sometimes hope disappoints contrary to
Romans 5.5
Many people
are under this false impression that for all things we ask and we hope for, you
will give. But you know best and your answers are not always yes. It may be a
no or a wait-because-now-is-not-the-best-time.
Next is
about religion. Yesterday I was checking out about religion on the internet.
There are as many beliefs of the universe and your existence as there are
grains of rice on my plate. Pantheism, henotheism, Zoroastrians, there’s even
Abrahamic religion! It’s so amazing! Are all these pockets of deception planted
by your eternal adversary or they came out because we live in a world where
you’ve left lots of things unclarified that we’re coming up with our own
interpretation of the cosmos??
Yes and why
do some preachers consider the profession of the doctor and the institution of
health useless? They say faith gets rid of diseases. That I believe, but I also
believe that you blessed man with the invention of medicine. Why do some of
your own go around poohing some of your ideas demonstrated through man?
I have to go
sleep now. Sleep is one of the best things you made. That I agree!
Truth be
said, I don’t know if I love you as unconditionally as you love me, but I know
I’ll get there one day. Surely. Goodnight God.
Forever worrying you,
You
know who,
Me.
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